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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

I can appreciate a man that goes out of his way to jazz up his online dating profile. I mean don't get me wrong, anything is better than the "hey girl look how big dis fish I caught is ; ) ;) ;)" picture, but sometimes guys can seem too perfect.  Any guy that has a picture cuddling a baby tiger and/or petting
horses is a winner. He might as well have a picture feeding the hungry, or putting out a fire with a garden hose with a caption of "He does what he can," or stopping someone from tripping the Pope. Dear Guy, do you exist? I'm just going to go back to waiting for my hot Chicago improviser boyfriend**


*accepting applications 
*side note: anchorman 2 was fantastic.


Monday, November 11, 2013

Seminar

What I had to say to you, moreover, would not take long, to wit: Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience BECOMING, to find out what’s inside you, to MAKE YOUR SOUL GROW.

-Kurt vonnegut


You know--one amazingly terrifying realization I have made from working on Seminar is how much of a scaredy cat I can be. I am terrified 90% of the time of sharing certain ideas, sketch work, new songs--pretty much anything personal that I keep close to my heart. I ADMITTED IT OK?  And why? Why is it human instinct to hold onto our creations until our fingerprints are burned there, and then let days--weeks--months--years go by before showing them to anyone. If we even man up to do so. It doesn't make sense. This is the time to be failing, and it's only then that we learn and better prepare ourselves for all types of criticism. Putting yourself out there is nerve wracking, but it's also the right thing to do, especially in a University setting where people care about you, or at least are great pretenders.

My show opens on Friday, and I'm still trying to figure out where the last four and a half weeks went. I am really excited. I couldn't be more happy with my cast--they are all really wonderful people, great players, and have a group dynamic that I think is difficult to find. Maybe I'm just being biased, or stroking my ego boner right now--but really. I have never once stopped believing in them or their work. Even when lines are forgotten, and moments are lost, and no one is listening--it's part of the process, and it amazes me every time what being present and just listening to words does.

The show questions what is at the core of the creator. What keeps an artist passionate, and when shit couldn't possibly get any worse, how do force yourself to keep going rather than give up. It's a place we have all fallen into, or are currently trapped in--and I think everyone can relate to the struggles of an artist.

It's kind of a perfect idea to explore right before graduating, because soon enough I'm not going to have quiet as large of a support system I sometimes forget that I have right now. We have access to so many wonderful resources whether a professors opinion, a free rehearsal space, thousands of books and free articles, access to people that will work on projects for free, computer labs, filming equipment, etc.

A few years/months/days ago I was complaining about what I have not learned at this University, and what I feel that I have missed out on, but honestly? You have to create your own work. You have to read books. You have to admit that you do not know everything, you will never know everything and sometimes you just need some god damn help. So ask for it. It won't kill you. Sometimes you have put down your cell phone and BE with people. Sometimes you have to be that person in class that raises their hand, while everyone else is too afraid to. Sometimes you need to scream at the top of your lungs and get all the negativity out. Sometimes you have to LISTEN to people. FEEL for people.

Just. Be. Present.

It's one of the most beautiful things you can do.


Sunday, November 10, 2013

What my vending machine would look like

Vending machines piss me off--and I would like to redesign them. I wrote an email to someone at work a few weeks ago, providing several options that we could replace the un-purchased candy with in our department. Here is what I came up with.


Kind Bars

These are freaking delicious, and I love that their motto is "ingredients you can pronounce." You should know what you are putting into your body. I love these because most of them are 99% Paleo and they don't destroy my stomach or hurt my teeth like the fake sugary chemical ones do. 



Roasted Seaweed

Okay, so once you get over that seaweed looks like thin pieces of paper--these aren't bad. The only downside is that there is no pretty way to eat them. Trust me, I have tried. I prefer fresh seaweed salad, but this is cheaper and will do. The only ingredients are seaweed and salt. Win. 



Unsalted Almonds

Almonds are naturally sweet and are full of wonderful antioxidants that show love to your heart and cholesterol  I prefer almonds over those mixed nut packs that often contain candy, extra sugar and MSG. Just be simple. Okay?


Veggie Chips 

Vegetable chips! These are great, TraderJoes has a brand "Vegetable Root Chips," and Terra makes them as well. No chemicals. Gluten free. Tasty. No grease. Yum



Instant Soup

Dr. McDouglas soup is a much better alternative to Ramen noodles. These are a little more expensive than the $0.17 you are used to, but they are better for the body and there are gluten free and paleo options. Ramen is also high in fat,  packed with crazy amounts of sodium, as well as MSG. It's also pretty sad when you check out the nutritional information--first of all who eats half a pack of Ramen? No one. Well, a pack is 380 calories and 126 of those are from fat and white flour. Yay America.  


Apple Chips 

I'm all about these right now. These are a perfect fall snack, and a really great option for kids. You can even make them at home in yo' oven. Here's a recipe, she adds sugar and cinnamon, but you can do what you want.   Listed ingredients: apples. Keep it simple! 


Peter Rabbit Fruit Drink

Let's all be 5 again, but this time grab a healthy version of Capri Sun. This is a great grab and go drink, and helps knock out lurking hunger strikes. And the packaging is cute. Be a cool kid again. 




Dark Chocolate

If I were to add one sweet, it would be pure dark chocolate. First of all, it's hard to eat an entire bar of dark chocolate in  one sitting (and that isn't the point right?) it can be saved and enjoyed. 

I have a few more options bouncing around in my mind, but for now, these were the best. Maybe I have inspired you, maybe not--but do you really need those cheetos? I mean damn. 


Just take another look at this. Ew. 

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

An office job--is very much like The Office

I never pictured myself working in an office, but honestly, I AM SO HAPPY TO NOT WORK IN THE FOOD INDUSTRY ANYMORE. I used to work on campus--making salads--and feeding my friends. I did it for two years, and after I finally got a very needed raise--I quit. Can someone say dramatic?

I walked past the place the other day--same staff--same miserable look--same salady smell.

I just couldn't do it anymore. Even one hour of salad making felt like I was on a long journey to hell. My shifts were never more than four hours, but it sure did feel like eternity. The company on campus is extremely unorganized, we apparently hire racists and slackers (One time a girl I worked with called a Chinese man "Ching Ching" and asked what he wanted. She called all white men Charles--and she would also take 45 minute bathroom breaks as soon as I arrived. She still works there. This is year three. Go Merika!), and my boss always called me by a different name. Plain and simple. It just sucked.

And now I am working for a super awesome company that helps save lives. Everyone I work with is really friendly, and the company treats everyone with the same amount of respect. I have awesome hours, the work isn't difficult, I even show up 15 minutes early and clock in 7 miles a day on my bike. How adult like.

Working in an office is a bit bizarre though. I guess I now understand office humor. But seriously, don't let your kids work in the food industry. Unless you hate them. Then by all means.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Seriously, don't buy an iPad--go to Europe

First of all--I just discovered this band and really dig them.


Anyway..moving on...

It's been about a month since I've returned to America. I MISS YOU EUROPE! Why was I not born in a Scandinavian country? WHY? Maybe in my next life. Hopefully.

The end of my European adventure was spent with Anum. I messaged her earlier this year and said, "Hey wanna go farming with me in August?" Luckily she said yes-- probably after a mental What The Fuck? And that was that. 

I looked into an organisation called WWOOF and found two farms in Denmark that sparked interest. We decided to spend a few nights in Copenhagen before farming our asses off. Copenhagen was great--we took our time walking around meaning getting lost too often, hanging out in the Botanical gardens, seeing friends and making new ones, and of course finding our equally shared soul-mate Paul. 

Oh Paul. Paul was a cute little book cafe we were introduced to. EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT.  We ate there at least twice a day--and felt bad eating elsewhere Oh and we actually ate at a restaurant across from Paul, and the food was terrible  While I left to puke--my friend told the waitress that we weren't feeling well and she said "Oh yeah it's probably the cheese. It happens" WHAT REALLY? WE WILL NEVER DITCH YOU AGAIN PAUL! <3<3<3

Anyway, we then ran into some bad luck on our way to the first farm. We drank a bit too much the night before and decided to take a later train. Then we missed it. And the next one. And finally when the third train came it was right in front of us and we just...didn't get on. Once we realized that our train was zooming away, I looked at Anum and said "Fuck it, we aren't going." We decided 3 missed trains, and a help desk that opens RIGHT AFTER the train leaves = BAD OMEN. It's a funny situation to look back on but at the time I'm pretty sure we both wouldn't have minded going through a pack of cigarettes, killing each other, and tossing our luggage into a river. Poor Anum and her 900 kg suitcase. She packed more for two weeks than I packed for three months. 

Heading to the Healing Garden early was the best decision. Two train rides, a bus, and a ferry ride later we arrived on a small island called Fejo. The trip was just what we needed. She had the year from hell, and I had a really really rough time in Italy. It was really nice to be in a place where my only worry was "What am I cooking for dinner?" The island was very small. Everyone greets you --the weather was fantastic--pickable fruit all over the island--one pub with an owner that gave us free shots--bike rides--herb picking--lots of tea--good vegetarian food--making more jam than I probably ever will in a life time--homemade nutella--meditation--healing--new friends--dream-catchers--singing and dancing in the mornings--dressing up like a fairy and running down a hill--talks on fear and spirituality--Danish films--Goat cheese--so much goat cheese--did I mention goat cheese?--candle lit cabin--scary spiders--scary cats--fresh seaweed--crazy dancing--washing dishes with 3 people at once--and so much more.

I miss it so much. My heart craves the people and relationships I made this summer. I know that I am broke--and can barely afford my bills right now--but the experiences were completely worth it. I don't mind eating eggs for a few weeks. Seriously--don't buy an Ipad--go to Europe.

The garden really was paradise. I can't stop thinking about it, and I'm applying what I learned in such a short time to my life as a whole. I learned how to really listen to people--I became completely aware of my fears and what I need to work on, I realized it's okay feel a certain way--if you want to be pissed/angry/sad/happy You CAN and SHOULD allow yourself to be--it's fine--seriously--don't keep that shit inside--and most importantly I realized that I want to use what I have learned to further my learning (weird sentence--fuck it) and help others change their lives from it.

It is so so so so important to know some gardening basics. You can make medicine! In your back yard! That works! Seriously--the earth provides us with so much, and if just go back and re-learn the basics we will be okay. For the most part. 

Thursday, August 8, 2013

The Love and Peace Caravan

That one time I decided to go to Norway with a Love and Peace caravan. Yeah that happened. AND IT ROCKED.


One flight and a four hour bus ride later, I was greeted by a really kind woman--who not only three weeks ago, I told I HAD to meet.



There was something about her couch-surfing profile that was intriguing, and odd, and so much fun. Originally I contacted her just to have me sleep on her couch, and instead I was invited on a road trip with the love and peace caravan. I accepted, and I am so happy I did.

It all began in a small room of a hotel. 12 of us sat there (two from Belgium, one from Portland, and the rest from Norway) slightly in awkward silence--taking much longer sips of coffee than needed, and then Lil said, "I'm doing this because I believe in peace, and I think people are too afraid of eachother." Her words were completely genuine--and very true. I knew this is where I needed to be-- and as crazy as this trip seemed--I felt incredibly safe. We basically were told that together we create the itenerary--we had set end points but how we got there was up to us. So we settled in four cars and our journey began.

Norway is breathtakingly beautiful. I can't recall a time in my life that I have ever felt THAT peaceful.



Even my long bus ride was a dream. The water--the mountains--the nature--was absolutely perfect and so so very relaxing. I quickly loved the concept of the road trip. We were constantly switching cars so we were able to get to know each other. Our first destination was only 30 minutes away but we took about 5 hours to get there. I'm really glad I said yes to this trip--if I would have gone to Norway on my own--I never would have seen what I saw--and now I have 11 new friends that I can visit :)

That's another thing--I really loved these people. Their humor and sarcasm was right up my alley. Everyone (for the most part) had a smile on their face, and were so so generous. I didn't have a sleeping bag---then I did. I didn't have a towel--then I did.

**Let me just take a moment to slightly complain even though I planned not too BUT older people from Portland are effin' IDENTICAL to Portlandia and not in a good way. In a---"OhMyGod......What....Why......" But really. If you want more on this, ask me in person--I shouldn't really shit talk people online. BUT PORTLANDIA IS REAL LIFE.****

ANYWAY

I learned a ton about the people of Norway, the government, the lifestyle, opinions on America--it was really nice to hear new perspectives. It's more information than a book could have told me in my limited amount of time there.

We also had some funny things happen because of Lil's car. It is a crowd pleaser. We were parked on a mountain and a bus of people from Korea got off--she told them to come over--and next thing you know we are showered with pictures with all the Asians. It was great. Later on at a camping site--this Korean woman did a small dance for us and offered us some Jesus bookmarks that she had made.

Interesting things happen in Norway. Haha.

The trip was too short. I was only able to stay for half of it--and I really feel the need to go back. I was invited to a snow cave in the winter--WHAT? Maybe I'll go. I learned a lot in those two days. The biggest thing was to treat people with kindness, and to meet as many people as possible. We really are too afraid of people. Next time someone makes eye contact, say hello. You never know who they could be, or what they have to say.

Lil also gave me confidence in my art. After I told her what I was doing with my life she said "And you are only 23? I'm impressed." Everyone I seem to meet this summer has told me they believe I will make it--and that I will get to where I want to be. It's really refreshing and a really nice confidence boost. I believe that I work really hard--and I hope in ten years it will be a blast to laugh about all the shit and difficulties I had to work through. After all...all you can do is laugh.


This is probably one of my favorite pictures ever. My new friends peacing me off. :)

So--if you've never been to Norway, you must go. It's one of the most peaceful places I have ever been--and we could all use a bit more of that right?

Monday, July 29, 2013

Ciao Italy!


What. The. Hell.
Where did the last nine weeks go, and how did they go by so quickly?
I'm currently laying in my Rome hostel after a long day of travel. YOU CAN NEVER TRUST AN ITALIAN TRAIN...but more on this later.

I have learned so much in the past nine weeks--most importantly, the importance (what) of keeping a daily journal. THANK YOU KATHY. Change and awareness can most definitely occur in a short amount of time.  I have learned that people you barely know can treat you with the most kindness THERE IS HOPE WORLD...whether it's a night shirt when you have lost all of your clothing (Thank you Meg :) ) or a pair of sandals when you haven't got a pair (Thank you Mary,) or a tube of toothpaste when you have run out (Thank you Lisa :D ) orrrr a place to stay and good company (Melanie, and Zack) or a free haircut...gosh there are so many thanks to be given.

I learned that I do in fact have the ability to be a good teacher--I just need to stop doubting myself, and realize that this is one big process. I can't know everything, and some days...just...suck. (Most of this realization came from Sophie. Because well, she is awesome--and helped me destroy most of my negativity)

I have also learned that even in Italy you can have shit days, despite the typical "LIKEomGzzzz you are in Italy, stop complaining!!!" This is bullshit. Things can suck anywhere, BUT it is important to remember that the cure can be as simple as a sunset, or a mountain. You can choose to change your outlook.


I've learned to enjoy taking my time--something I don't think happens very often in America. No wonder everyone is getting fat. Whether peeling a peach with a knife (and failing about 30 times,) or handwashing all my clothing, or simply breathing in my surrounds...like I said earlier...you don't have to go to Chine to see the sky...

I have also realized that I am so ready for LA. My host mom confirmed this as well. It's funny to look back at one of my first posts of the summer where I am clearly LOOSING MY MIND about the future. I was considering going to Thailand. What? Me? No. There is still time to see the world, and I have seen more than I ever thought I'd be able to. It's time to finally, and seriously pursue what I know I love. This comedy bullshit ;) with my best friend. I'm thinking of it like an Italian train, if you miss it (and you will,) figure out your next move, and get to where you need to be. 

So, tomorrow I head to Copenhagen for a few days, then a very random, and hopefully awesome Hippie Adventure with 15 people I don't know, that may or may not kidnap me and make me live with elves in the Norwegian mountains. I'm ready for life, and actually very excited about this trip. I decided to say HELL YES to the opportunity, because when else will I be able to camp on the tallest peak in Norway? Hmm? HMM? Call me crazy, and I am--but this is so happening. 

I would like to do a short summer recap, followed by some Italian tips:
Things I am thankful for:
My first gelato of the summer, with my new friend Meg :)

Sicily 

Meg

Cheese. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CHEESE.

Sophie. I owe you so much, you don't even know. The laughs, the realness--I love you. 

That one time I learned an Italian dance. 

* Everyone I worked with during the first week of camp
* Singing "Hit me baby one more time," for a ton of Italian's. What?
* The insanely loud toilet. I still miss it
* A really long and awkward attempt at ordering a white russian
* GLUTEN FREE PIZZA
* MELENZANE mmm.....
* Free gelato, and sweets, and almond milk
* Cheap fruit. Cheap Cheese. Cheap coffee. 
* Tequilla boom boom 
* The girls from sardinia
* Lion King dating show, Pirate show, Peterpan show
* Salerno shopping sales
* The kid that wrote me a love letter
* Food in Sicily. GRANITAS IN SICILY, really, ANYTHING in Sicily
* Sabaudia--the sea, the hills, the mojito parties
* My host dads brother that tried to hook me up with the chef "He is an artist--of the chicken"
* SO MUCH MORE

And Now for some tips, based on my travels these past couple of weeks:

 1. Please learn the basics. Don't be caught saying "Dove Banjo" see below

 
                                                      
2. You will stick out as an American, so PLEASE DO NOT MAKE IT WORSE by wearing your 
red/white/blue walmart eagle shirt. Or your "I HEART ROME," sweatshirt, IN ROME.

3. Coffee is fantastic, and so is Gelato--but for the love of god, if you are in a touristy area, GET IT TO GO.

4. Italian's currently have a very strange addiction to tacky neon clothing. 

5. If you are in a place that serves fresh almond milk ORDER IT PRONTO

6. There is NO NEED to worry about your body image while at the beach. Seriously. You will see a whole lot more than you have ever wanted to see. 

7. Don't confuse pazzo and cazzo. One is crazy. One is dick. I'll let you figure it out. 

8. Please don't complain about the lack of Chinese restaurants. AND PLEASE DO NOT GO TO McDONLANDS! YOU ARE IN ITALY. EAT ITALIAN FOOD. 

9. Be careful...15 yearolds will mistakenly look like 20something yearolds. 

10. When people say they are "engaged" it doesn't mean he put a ring on it. "I'm single in the summer," is a commonly followed phrase. 

11. Your train will be late. 

12. If you order a mixed drink, I advise packing a container of juice in your bag. The drinks here are way too strong and pretty gross in result.....stick with vino. 

12. Learn to take your time :) Enjoy every moment--it will help you at some point in your life. 

And now...I'm going to enjoy my final gelato. And probably eat a block of cheese. 

Ciao!




Updates Week 7 in Italy

Soooo, these past couple of weeks have been pretty difficult. Post Nazi camp--I went to another two person camp--Meg and I weren't happy because we hate small camps, and we wanted to talk to people other than each other. So we get to camp, right, and we only have 12 kids--3 of them decided to bail and because of said bail, we find out that one of us has to leave. THE NEXT DAY. We worked together for four weeks, and in the morning one had to go. Running a camp alone is not normal--and usually in this situation the camp would shut down, but that wasn't the case. I decided to stay--and let Meg leave so she could work with other people before leaving Italy. It was difficult---very difficult. The English level, and age among the children ranged from 7 to 12, so teaching lessons was almost impossible. I had to get very creative, and I was really exhausted. Fortunately, the camp director was fantastic, the children were wonderful, and a friend of mine came in to help me a few times. The camp was supposed to last two weeks, but after being shoved around, and poorly communicated with--I found out that I'd be heading to a new camp a few days later. I was never able to say goodbye to those kids--but I did write them a pretty cool script about Super Hero School, and cat woman turning them all into cats, out of superpower jealousy. So take that!

I'm really enjoying my current camp. I'm physically exhausted but my lessons have been running smoothly, and I think this week, I've realized that I am a good tutor. My kids really like me, and I've created some pretty cool projects for them. I also went into this week with no fear--I told myself that everything would be fine, and so far it has been. I love, love, love my host family--especially my host mother. I think I have learned the most Italian this week, and we often sit around the dictionary looking up words. I love it. I also love the slow pace of Italy. Peeling fruit with a knife. Hanging clothes to dry all day. Using a fucking dictionary instead of a smartphone. It's really great for my soul, and my mind. It's helping me realize what really matters--and how much day to day bullshit I can avoid. I've also realized--if I give myself some alone time with a pen and paper I can think creatively, and I can write some pretty funny shit. This will be useful while I'm having my semesterly freakout over my comedy show.

Updates: The end of the last camp was pretty great. My kids killed it. They were all pretty incredible actors and had people laughing. I wrote a show about pirates being trapped in mermaid prison. The camp also cheered for me for whatever reason--and I did the Banana song in front of 60 parents. Life can be hard guys.

It was soooo difficult saying goodbye to my host family. They were one of the bests I've had this summer. I got really close with the mother, and I think learned the most Italian with this family. Communication is so amazing, and I am really inspired to continue my studies of the language. 

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Can I just take a moment to say

That this is bullshit?

What deodorant lasts for 48 hours? Maybe it's true if you're laying in bed for 2 days in 65 degree weather. 
Just no. I call false advertising. 

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Traveling Part 2--One of my student's is a Nazi

I miss Sicily, this whole stay-somewhere-for-a-week-then-leave-thing is difficult. I thought this year would be easier, but somehow I think it's the opposite. So...here it is. This is my public apology to any, and every teacher I was ever a shithead to. Teaching is difficult, and when you are giving it your all, and receiving little to no response--it sucks. Add texting, and talking to friends into the equation, and you really realize just how rude and disrespectful it is. Our culture is not full of multitaskers, it is full of half-assers. It's pretty impossible to listen fully to someone speak, and text at the same time. Maybe you'd like to think you are a master at this, but in reality...really? 

I just completed my third week of camp, and it went pretty well. My host family is wonderful, and once again I am living with Meg haha. We have our own little apartment in the attic  It's really nice, but I think half of it was designed for dwarfs. Our shower/bath situation is kind of funny. I think I have become a master of showering sitting down. The ceiling is too low to stand (Poor Meg. She's like 6 feet tall)--but it's okay. I have a new unique skill ;) This is the view from our flat:



We have a host sister, who upon greeting us could not stop jumping up and down. She communicates through hugs and jumps. It's cute. We also have a little host brother named Constantino. Our host dad owns a plant factory which is attached to the back of their house, and it is amazing. It's nice to be surrounded by so much green.

I decided to take the older group of kids this week, and so far they are pretty cool. Their English is great, and because of this, I've really struggled with my lesson plans. The most beneficial activity for them is to just... well, sit around and talk. They dread book work--they dread writing--I even tried to modify a few drinking games for them, but they bombed.

There is one kid that we call superbad, because he looks JUST LIKE McLovin. Then there is Ciro, who is obsessed with saying BANANA! Oh and we must not forget....The Nazi. 

I have a student who has a notebook covered in swastikas. It wasn't pointed out to me until the 2nd or 3rd day of camp, but yep...there it is. I thought maybe it was just an innocent sketch--but I finally confronted her about it. "What is that?" "Uhh...nothing. Nothing" "It's a swasticka" "Yes I know" "Why do you have it everywhere?" "because I like it..and I think it is a very good thing." She also has drawings of semi-clothed anime girls holding eachother, with jars of nutella between their bodies. Some of the other drawings are pretty interesting as well. It's hard being 12.




She also thought my version of beer pong was boring. "Who's idea was this? Yours? It's boring." Thank you. I appreciate that. She then proceeded to find a razor cutter we use for cardstock, and wouldn't hand it to me. "I know it's dangerous," she said as she opened, and closed the blade. AHH GET ME OUT OF HERE. The camp director spoke with her, and she apologized, but that doesn't change the Nazi thing. We had carnival day on Friday, and during the face painting station, she asked for the German and Japanese flags to be painted on her face. Oh dear. 

Today I explored the Ruins of Pompeii with the other tutors. It was incredible. We went on a free two hour tour, and explored afterward. It's amazing to see what was able to survive after the eruption. Viewing the human casings was a bit intense, because of how clear their facial expressions, and body language was. So sad. It's kind of scary, that the most dangerous volcano in the world is essentially in my backyard. I'm so very thankful for this weekend. It's really the only small break I'll have had since arriving three weeks ago. The heat, and the children are wearing me out. I don't think it helps that my class is outside. 

I'm really struggling right now, and I'm hoping the weekend will help me clear my head.  My future is freaking me out. My next lesson plan is freaking me out. I miss home. It's weird, I never thought I would miss home this early on, but I do. I miss my bed, cat, and friends. I'm not alone right now--but I've been feeling alone. I don't feel myself. I feel boring--and uninteresting--On the other hand, I know that I am way too hard on myself. I also know that I am not a trained teacher. After emailing one of my favorite professors,she told me that teaching is learning--and you never stop learning. We probably learn the most from our failures so it's okay if things don't go to plan. I need to accept that sometimes I won't know what to do, sometimes my ideas won't work out, and sometimes they will. This is going to be one hell of a summer. 


Free Gelato, Mafia Trash Issues, and more.

I realize it's been 18 days since my last blog post--I've been meaning to write, but I've been soooooo tired. Calabria was crazy. I thought teaching for only four hours  a day would rock--but it was even more exhausting. We had to cram lessons, and there was a lot of pressure because some of the parents expressed THAT THEIR KIDS NEEDED TO LEARN TONS OF ENGLISH---TONS AND TONS OF ENGLISH....IN ONE WEEK. Four hours including breaks--so really 2 hours-- was just not enough time. We were also expected to put on a show at the end of the week. Again, not enough time. I had older kids that I grew to love. They had tons of energy, and it was easy to get them excited about anything and everything. I ended up writing a Lion King dating show for them that went pretty well. Rawr. The other tutors and I lived in the directors house which had it's perks and non-perks.Living with the director made it almost impossible to escape the topic of camp. Our days would end a bit before 7. We would have a 30 minute meeting about camp, eat dinner and talk about camp....campcampcampcamp AHH!!!

It was really wonderful living with the other tutors though--we were able to go out together, lesson plan together, bitch together..you know. AND THE DIRECTOR'S DAUGHTER WAS AMAZING. Her English was fantastic, and she had the best attitude about everything. I miss her so much. She taught me some very useful words in Italian like tipsy, watermelon, and see you tomorrow. We also had the royal treatment because people in southern Italy are so damn welcoming--one of the father's of a student owned a bakery--so we often had FREE gelato, espresso, and baked goods. Also--have you ever had FRESH almond milk? I think I about died when I tried it. It was incredible.

The one sad thing about our town was the trash issue. I learned later that the Mafia manages the trash --and they wait until it gets to the point that someone has to call the government. The government then pays a ton of money for the issue to be resolved--but waiting means less work, and more money for them. It was a bit sad to see the filth--and all the poor mutated looking cats and dogs. THE SEA WAS NICE THOUGH. (Being Positive) The end of the week approached quickly--and it was very sad to leave. Meg and I stayed together while the other three tutors went their separate ways. I think Meg and I might be together forever--we met in Rome and haven't left each other since. GOOD THING WE LIKE EACH-OTHER MEG ;)


Oh another thing. One night we had a GIANT dinner with one of the classes at a family restaurant. The food was great, but unfortunately there was some "entertainment." Someone told the singer that Meg had a beautiful voice--so he publicly came to our table and tried to get her on stage. We just worked all day, and were trying to eat. Then he suggested that ALL  of the tutors come on stage, and sing for the children and families. Reaction Shot.

Sophie's not having it. 

Best Part: The only American song he had was  Hit me Baby One More Time. So you guessed it. We sang Britnay Spears for sixty people. I did not have enough vino for that. I made sure to avoid that man for the rest of the night. 



The Saturday after camp-we left for Sicily!! It was a nice change because we went from a town with more stray cats than humans--to a town with lots of humans! Go team! Getting to Sicily was a bit challenging. We waited for our train--and as the time inched closer--our train was delayed--and then...it just...never came. We called our company and they made a joke that we were supposed to get on a train that went INTO a boat. Oh silly company--except it wasn't a joke. We were so lost. And some of the trains were going into the boat. There were about five different unlabeled places to catch a boat. We walked back and forth, almost got on the wrong boat, and after looking more and more like pathetic lost Americans--this man walked us to the right boat and let us on with the wrong ticket. Finally! The view was incredible. Post boat we were welcomed by two lovely host families, and a really nice director. THEN WE HAD GRANITAS--which were created in Sicily. So. Freaking Good.

We only had a two-tutor camp in Sicily that week--so Meg and I were once again together forever. Small camps are really difficult and I realllllly don't prefer them. There is a huge difference in having 50+ kids, and having 14. Some days their energy was absolutely pathetic, and no matter how high we jumped, or how big we smiled, or how loud we were--they weren't into it. The school was beautiful. Camp was held at a private Catholic school, so we were greeted by tiny nuns everyday (and occasionally yelled at by them......) Meg and I decided to combine our classes since the numbers ran low. In the end it was a bit odd--the students had two teachers, and I always felt like I wasn't doing enough--it was just a really rough week. Our director was nice, but sometimes I thought she was either way too involved and unhelpful--or she was never there when we needed her. She was convinced that all of her students were English Gods and needed no translating ever. Look lady, yes this is an English immersion camp, but sometimes kids need things explained in their native language. Our final show was a bit of a joke--she didn't seem to care that the script should stick to language they knew--so she rewrote what we had and overstressed emotion. "There needs to be a love story---the kids need to speak with passion...blablabla." Okay they are seven. What do they know about emotional monster love. Hell, what do I know about love?

There were a few students that kept me going. Simone was awesome. He was excited about life in general, and he thought everything was hilarious. Props Simone.

My host family was also incredible. My 14 year old host sister--who I am convinced is really a 30+ year old in a 14 year old body is a genius. Every time I spoke with her I was extremely inspired. She wants to be a journalist-and is already working on learning multiple languages. She goes after what she wants, and she is unlike any teenager I have ever met. I tried to talk with her as much as possible. I miss her so much. She really inspired me to work harder--read more--and go after whatever I want in life. Just wow.

My little host sister was adorableeeeeeee. Our only form of communication was "Get the horseeee!!" She would make me chase her around while she held onto a little toy horse. I loved her.



The family was so kind, and adjusted what they cooked all week to cater to my no grain diet. It's really difficult telling an Italian family that you don't eat bread, pasta, cake.....etc. COSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?!  I survived. I cheated to try a few typical Sicilian dishes--they tore my stomach apart but tasted good!

Part two coming soon.





Sunday, June 2, 2013

Losing 75% of my wardrobe on the way to Calabria

My last night in Copenhagen was actually super awesome. I met up with Melanie after spending the day in Christiania, and then we went to The Distortion festival whichhhh actually wasn't too great because we arrived late, and the streets smelled like piss. Mmmm. Soooooo instead we found Melanie's boyfriend, and a few of his friends and headed back to his place.

Can I just take a moment to say something? I LOVE THE DANES!!!!!

We spent the night discussing the differences in culture--and how safe Copenhagen is. So safe in fact that their most dangerous animal is the badger......oh and some weird looking fish. There is actually a punk band that sings about the fish. I found that hilarious---the only topic the punks have to complain about is the semi-once-in-a-while-deadly-fish. They also told me that every year 12 Germans die from floating out on air mattresses to see the sea.

I thought this was a joke. Guess not. Haha.

So we drank. We laughed. We shared stories--and I loved each and every moment of it. I was sad to leave. I woke up at 7am the following morning, packed my things quietly and was on my way.

I arrived in Rome several hours later, and fell in love with my tiny hostel. I met Meg, another tutor and we shared stories, got some food, and of course gelato. I wish we had had more time to spend in the city. My first impression of Rome last year was not the greatest. It was about 900 degrees, packed with tourists, and pretty uncomfortable. This time it was much emptier, and the weather was beautiful. Ahh. Rome. :)

I finally arrived in Calabria after a 9 hour train ride from Rome woo! Oh but guess what? I left about 75% of my clothing on the train. yep. I'm a genius. I separated my dirty clothing from my bag and completely forgot it after switching trains. The Italian train station doesn't have a lost and found and my clothing is gone forever. I was only saying the other day how much less traveling makes me realize we need to live with and survive. REALLY UNIVERSE???

However, I wasn't as mad as I thought I would be and It's really lovely here. We were greeted by a really nice camp director and her daughter, and then hit gelato land. I ordered in Italian and felt like a boss. I HAVE MISSED MELONE GELATO OH MY GOD. 

All of the tutors are staying in the same house. We have our own flat connected to the directors home, which is pretty exciting, AND we only work four hours a day. It is so lovely! She has a huge garden with zuchinni, lemons, tomatoes, onions--and we have fresh eggs every morning. Perfection.

Here is the view from the flat--


Here is our host dog Willy--

Here's the fresh gnocchi we made earlier today--Did I mention that life is awesome?

I'm pretty nervous about teaching again tomorrow, but I think it'll be okay. Everyone is rusty the first day. Life is good. I'm discovering a lot. Which is good. I think this is a wonderful place for me to be right now. 

Thursday, May 30, 2013

On Christiania, Drugs, Getting kicked out of a house, and good coffee. Can you say Drama?

My little kitchen view. 

After nine hours of flying, I finally arrived in Copenhagen. My flights weren't terrible, aside from the screaming babies--but hey I was able to watch Little Miss Sunshine and Silver Linings Playbook. 

Oh and when previously checking in for my flight, I thought that I had upgraded my seat on the 8 hour flight like a smart person--turns out I upgraded my seat on the one hour flight from Amsterdam to Copenhagen, Oops. At least I rode like a boss in that last hour. There is nothing quite like free wine on the airplane, excuse me, flyvemaskine (FLUV MAS KEEN) at 10am.

I was greeted at the airport by this guy I met online, and we spent the entire day together--it was really awesome actually. I'm still not sure how I survived the day--thank you Copenhagen Gods. If I don't have legs like Beyonce after this trip--I will be surprised.

We first went to Christiania, also known as the Free Town. It is probably the most interesting place I have ever been. Ever. It's a mini city full of hippies, and open minded individuals that was taken over in the 70's. It is full of interesting art, and housing made from scraps--and then of course, pusher street where you can buy the best hash and weed around. There was a little garden we sat in for about an hour near there, and talked about past travels. Christiania is such a unique place. You could walk around there for hours, and oh WE DID, observing the houses and the lake. The weather was absolutely perfect--I'm not sure if I was just jetlagged, or high, or hallucinatingv or high -but I haven't been that happy in a long time. After about five hours --we then went and looked at a few famous churches--and walked down a famous shopping street. The architecture was incredible. You really can't find much like it in the states. We have  boring concrete buildings--they have department stores look like this:


Each and every building was completely different. Nothing was identical. I loved it. 
I also loved how the towns constitution is displayed in images:

No weapons. No hard drugs. No fighting. No cars. No gang colors. No bulletproof vests. No selling of fireworks. No use of thunderflashes. No stolen goods.



I really really love it here. I can see why it's so popular. This week there is also a free music festival called Distortion. It's a week long street party with free music and anything-goes rules. It looks like a really good time, and I'm going tonight! Excited!

It really amazes me how kind people can be. This guy spent his entire day off with me and was so kind  to give me tips for the city and show me around. I met my host on couchsurfing and she has been incredible. We haven't spent as much time together because she works, but she offered me a bed, food, and we talked about life over a bottle of wine last night. 

Then some shit went down. Apparently her roommate is insane. They made an agreement that I wouldn't be alone in their place, but she didn't want to wake me up at 7am after being jetlagged (THANK YOU) and the crazy roommate was going to be home anyway. So later in the day crazy roommate asks me what my plans are for the day. I told her that I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep--but I could explore the city if she didn't want me there. After talking for a bit--she was laughing, and gave me keys. She told me it was fine if I stayed while she was gone. Then later that night after Melanie (nice lady) and I go out--we come back to a note asking Mealine to text her. Apparently mean chick changed her mind, told her she couldn't trust her, and told her I needed a new place to stay tonight AND she had one month to leave. 

THE FUCK?


So she kicked me out this morning--I had no time to shower, and most of my stuff is still at her place other than my passport and important items. She was so rude too. "So do you know how to get to the city center?" "Not really. I've only been here a day" "....." She walked out with me--made a call and started laughing on her phone. Didn't offer to help me, or give me guidance. Some people.

I felt really bad--like this was all my fault. Melanie told me that it is actually a good thing because she wasn't comfortable living with her anyway. It's just a messy situation to be caught in.

Now I'm sitting in a coffee shop near Christiania using some free wifi like a boss. This has been an eventful two days. But hey--what is traveling without some drama? I haven't been mugged yet--and even if she steals all of my clothing I guess I have an excuse to buy more? Haha.

There is always a silver lining.

Tomorrow I fly to Rome for a night--and then head to my first camp in the south of Italy. It is in a place called Calabria--and is gorgeous. DID I SAY GORGEOUS!!?!?


Oh. My. God. I cannot wait. 
Well it's time to explore a bit more. 
Oh I forgot to talk about coffee--it is in the title of this post afterall. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. 
There you go!
But really it's pretty fucking great here. 

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Amanda Bynes

I don't normally dive into celebrity gossip, but this Amanda Bynes shit is hilarious. Poor Amanda. I remember being obsessed with All That  and The Amanda Show. What happened to her? I guess it's just really hard growing up with fame. Sure you get everything you want--you know...other than a social life...and a childhood. I don't really see how turning into a jewel-faced-internet-slut is an excuse though. She claims that she isn't doing drugs--maybe she needs to. Maybe she'd mellow out. My addiction started with a google image search of her. Then I moved on to articles. Then I started looking at her twitter. I even @ tweeted her. Any normal person giving her sympathy is getting  retweeted. I can only hope. Dreams do come true. 

But really.  I think Amanda Bynes is a genius. She's a 27 year old millionaire, and I think she's just bored. Why else would she try to look like Lindsay Lohan's twin? Or model herself after some stripper? I think maybe she's just trolling everyone--JUST LOOK AT HER TWEETS. And the girl wasn't really getting tons of work, and now she's getting publicity like crazy.

I AM GETTING WAY TO INTO THIS.

I also love that out of the seven people she follows--Barack Obama is one of them. You can count on Amanda's vote. #Much Respect.

And look at this video--It's a joke. It has to be. A video of her making duck faces for a minute.


What is the host of this show wearing? She looks just as bad. 

So this is what I have come up with. Amanda has tried to follow the footsteps of the last couple of fuckups in Hollywood. Examples.

Lindsay Lohan



Also getting sidetracked..but can I say how I think it's hilarious that in Lohan's twitter bio it says "Learning one day at a time." What exactly are you learning Lindsay!?

Then she pulled a Britney Spears/Miley Cirus:



















What's next? An Amy Winehouse, or will she fake her death to get a V.I.P. pass to the 27's club? Or maybe she's trying to create a new character for the show. Totally possible--and how awesome would that be? Who knows. Who Knows. You are one sneaky girl Amanda.

I leave you with this. The pilot for the  Amanda Show. How it all began.

Click Here. 


















Smooches. 

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Being Productive: I made a website!

I actually made a list and followed it for once! What is going on! Am I growing up? Am I starting to understand what organization really means? I didn't even read the book that I bought on it yet! Or was I just bored and sick of Netflix? I'll let you decided.

Speaking of Netflix, I started watching this really awesome show called Top Of the Lake, you should watch it if you haven't already. There are only seven episodes--and the cinematography is beautiful! Also Peggy (Elizabeth Moss) stars in it. So yeah. Nuf said. 




I guess from not on when I get scatterbrained I'll put everything in Italics. 

Also I pretty much feel like a champ today. I bet you didn't eat roasted seaweed for breakfast. 

I spent the majority of the day searching graduate programs in Scandinavian counties. I contacted a few art schools, and started looking into a few really snazzy film programs. It's worth a shot right?

I should really go to bed. I just re-typed the word shot six times.
And I guess I should start watching Nordic films. 

Then I went to T.J. Maxx and bought a really nice bathing suit for more than 75% off. Thank's TJ! You always got my back!

And then I decided that I needed to make a website. I didn't really have anything storing my portfolio, so I read about this really easy to use site called Weebly. You can customize everything--and you don't have to use any HTML...YAY. 

So here it is folks. I have some headshots. I have some pictures. Some videos. Yippee. It's still in the works, but it's not bad for day one. And there's a nice little page that directs you back to my blog!

Click my face below.

Okay...well...clicking my face didn't really work so click the "Click Me" below.
So many Clicks. 
CLICK ME
click click click

Also, can I express how excited I am for this film? First of all I love Joseph Gorden-Levitt. AND he's playing a guido. AND Scarlette Johanson's a guidette. Yes. Sold. Done.




Jeans

After three years, I finally bought some jeans. AND the first pair I tried on fit really well what?!?!, and were only $17 from Ross. What?What?!? That never happens. I went to Old Navy next trying to find more, but it was a disaster. I can't believe I went this long without jeans. I mean, I can believe it, I just hated trying them on because of the weight gain--but now that it's going away, trying on clothing doesn't seen so bad. My aunt also bought me some really cute polka-dot heel.wedge thinggys. I really need to buy more shoes--and get girlyer in general. After my Acting four showcase this year, I had a professor say to me "Sacha..you can act, but you need to get yourself some heels. They will change your life. No really." Thank you Dr. P. I'm working on it. :)


Anyway, I'm off to do some research on graduate programs in Norway. Yipee! More exciting posts to come!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Kind Words From The Airport Man



As May 27th approaches--my excitement increases. I can't wait to see Italy again. I can't wait to teach again. I can't wait for the insane stories I will have by the time I leave in August. Working in Italy last summer was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. Being away from home didn't/doesn't bother me--but I never thought I would be able to teach, or would be given the opportunity to, or that I would even be good at it. Even with my first camp making me cry and yell and O.D. on geltato--it was worth it in the end--because if anything, the children now know a few songs about caterpillars, andddd can properly play mafia. Oops. 

As I approached the empty check-in counter at the airport, I was greeted with a kind smile--the man saw that I had a European backpack and asked me if I was going home. We got to talking, and I told him I was returning to Italy this summer to teach. He said,

"Make sure to enjoy it, because a lot of people don't get opportunities like this."

He made me realize how lucky I am. I might not be lucky financially, or materialistically, or whatever--but I have met some really amazing people, and I am slowly filling my awesome-story-bank. I wouldn't trade any of that for an Ipad. I'm really growing to love my need for travel, and exploration of cultures. I think I have learned the most about the world from everything I have seen. I will admit--I am a bit snobbier, especially when it comes to food. I laughed at the "Euro Restaurant " on my way to the gate. Their pastries ain't got shit on the ones in Nice, or Berlin. Sigh.  I am so ready for some amazing food.

It's strange how the universe looks out for us sometimes. Three summers ago when I was going through a terrible breakup and family problems--I received a letter from my Russian grandmother. We hadn't spoke in ten years, and she paid for me to fly to Russia with her for a few weeks. When I was in desperate need of a vacation for spring break this year, I woke up to find a random grant deposited into my bank account the next morning. When I was freaking out about not having a bit of money for my trip--I received a check in the mail. I promise I don't shit out hundreds. I wish. But I am really lucky sometimes. THANK YOU UNIVERSE! FOR REAL!

I think there are more magical things going on around us than we are aware of.


And nowwww, I am boarding for Maryland.
Off to a week of crazy kid fun!


Friday, May 17, 2013

A Quickie & A Hot Waiter

I'm bored--so you guessed it! Time to blog! I started searching for rehearsal planning techniques, and organizational tips, and before I could finish my sentence, this is what came up. Are these really the top three? Run Away. Lose Weight. Successfully Overdose. I guess once losing weight fails, the only sensible solution is to take more pills than Lindsay Lohan and die. 

That's Hot. 

That was quick like I promised. Now on to the hot waiter. 

A friend and I went to a delicious local place in town tonight and we were greeted by a very enthusiastic waiter that was either on speed, or wanted a generous tip. When I told him to hold off on giving me bread he responded with I'd eat your bread. Thank you sir. Anyway, he was super cute and paid us quite a bit of attention. Maybe he thought we were lesbians? I did just cut all my hair off. Who knows.

But after telling us about his life, plans, and how comfortable we made him feel he eventually asked us what we were doing later tonight, and said that he had a few friends in town, and would we like to join him downtown later. We said yes, and ended up leaving our numbers. We have yet to be contacted but who knows. He was really cute, funny, and outgoing--but the longer we stayed, he got a little bit creepier. He filled our water glasses and looked at the two of us, for probably 5 seconds too long and said "Tonight's going to be a fun night."

What does that mean? Did he text his buddies in the bathroom saying, I found some fresh meat. You said you needed a few kidneys? So that was sign number one. Then he came back and refilled our water and just starred at me. As he walked away he said Was that creepy? Because that's what I was going for. Uhhh. This was one of those moments where he either was being creepy--or he realized he was accidentally creepy and made a joke as a cover up:something I do all the time. Well we left him our numbers anyway--but realized during dinner we revealed a few things. 

"We are pretty dirty." This was referring to our writing style and sense of open-mindedness
"My friend is a lightweight.. literally one margarita and BAM" Giving him a reason why she didn't want to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a drink there. 

Maybe I am completely over thinking everything. He was probably just a nice guy, looking for a good time, or he thought we'd make out for him for $1 ---but honestly--it's 10pm and I'm an old lady. He also wanted to go to Midtown--and anyone living here knows Midtown is crap. We have a bar called Balls....I do, however, find it hilarious that it's a popular spot for all the frat boys--and their balls are literally touching in there--there is no space to move. Soooo I'm just going to watch The Office and eat my cinnamon crunch scone. Thank you PMS. Thank you. Creep or not though--it was nice to get hit on. So thank you too waiter man.